• Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner in Keeping Up with the Kardashians: “It won’t eat its regular food, it’ll only eat these. Those are cookies for...” Picky dog
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  • Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation: “Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love.” Leslie knows best
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  • Tony and Hooker in After Life: “Worst one, sex addiction. Literally invented by someone who got caught cheating. Hey, those guys are some of my...” Worst one, sex addiction.
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  • Jorah Mormont in Game of Thrones: “The things we love destroy us every time” The things we love destroy us every time
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  • Temperance Brennan in Bones: “Just because I have breasts doesn’t mean I have magical powers over infants.” Just because I have breasts doesn’t mean I have magical powers over infants.
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  • Schmidt in New Girl: “Do you have anything that says Sorry for cheating on you, please don't sleep with my friends?” Do you have anything that says "Sorry for cheating on you"
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  • Brothel Guard and Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones: “It's good luck to rub a dwarf's head. It's even better luck to suck a dwarf's cock.” It's good luck to rub a dwarf's head.
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  • Gina Linetti and Rosa Diaz in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “I'm 23, I'm a celebrity, and today, I'm gonna die! Not one word of that is true.” I'm 23, I'm a celebrity, and today, I'm gonna die!
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  • Kidnapper and Lois Griffin in Family Guy: “We have your son? Meg's our daughter. Really?” Really?
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  • Lloyd and Ari Gold in Entourage: “Ari, swear to me that you will never again say anything offensive to me about my race or my sexual orientation.” Swear to me that you will never again say anything offensive
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