• Jess Day in New Girl: “I feel like I want to murder someone, and also I want soft pretzels.” I feel like I want to murder someone, and also I want soft pretzels.
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  • Donna Paulsen in Suits: “You're weird. You'll be my friend.” How I recruit my friends
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  • Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner in Keeping Up with the Kardashians: “I want to do a documentary on my life and show all of this. Great idea.” Keeping Up With The Kardashians?
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  • Harvey Specter in Suits: “I don't get lucky...I make my own luck!” I don't get lucky
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  • Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “What's the point of going out? We're just gonna wind up back here anyway.” What's the point of going out?
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  • Phoebe Buffay and Chandler Bing in Friends: “One of my clients died on the massage table today. That's a little more relaxed than you want them...” Chandler over the top
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  • Eliot Waugh in The Magicians: “I have so much to teach you about drinking. It's a three-year program. Graduate level. It begins immediately.” I have so much to teach you about drinking.
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  • Jack and Liz in 30 Rock: “Lemon, I want to thank you. For showing me that I could have a pleasant evening with a woman my age.” A pleasant evening with a woman my age.
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  • Tony and Matt in After Life: “If I become an arsehole, and I do and say what the fuck I want for as long as I want, and then when it all gets too...” It's like a superpower.
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  • Selma Bouvier and Lisa Simpson in The Simpsons: “Lisa, it's time you learned the truth about men. They're pigs? The bitterness is strong in this one.” Truth about men
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